Ever since the beginning I always understand that I am alone. I have nothing to share, nothing to believe in, nothing to hope on, nothing to count on, nothing to laugh for, nothing to look forward, and many others “nothing to”. Everything I do is always wrong. Since I was a child many people view me as hateable. My personality is not charming nor that it is lovable.

Most people always got me wrong, they never stop mistaken me for someone else. Nobody ever understand me, nobody will understand me. And I am not expecting to be understood, though deep down inside I want it so bad. It is an unparalleled stupidity to expect anyone to understand my undecipherable thought and feeling.

I am speaking with other language than my friend is. I always living in a different way than my friend is. My life is monochrome cause I have traded my color with knowledge.

I am just nothing but a bunch of skills, I am a heartless knight who keep observing and studying and giving nothing in return, I am just the wandering thought who love to stay in two places, the canyon and the mountain peak, the places where I can stay alone and feeling like as if I am flying and have nothing to worry about.

I don’t care what most other care for, like most other don’t care what I care for.

Why am I born? Sometimes I thought that I living for other, try to give without receiving. But come to think of it, it is stupid to think that way. I live just for myself, I live to understand me and this world, that is why I relentlessly observing and studying. I am afraid when people knew that I do not know or that I do not understand. To not know and not understanding is an intolerable weakness for me. My thought and my knowledge is more than enough to make me whole.

Now, I have no friend at all, my only friend is my Sheer Darkness. The one who will keep accompany me until my journey is over.

I am a free man, and it will stay that way. No one will prison me ever. I just will not stop to understand myself and this world. No matter what I will keep walking forward with head up straight and grinning to face any monsters, bandits, knights, dragons, demons, goblins, elves, dwarves, and ogres.

June 08, 2010

The Knight of The Darkness