I do understand well that it’s always been hard for me to finish a project. Instead of finishing I would rather to start a new one. But it is not just on the finishing part, even when I’m in the middle it is hard to stay motivated. Maybe it is just my wandering thought, or perhaps I’m just easily got bored. As the result I have a lot of project, yet most of them are halted before I came into their completion.

I do realize that it is a tremendous lack inside of me. And for the last few years it is keep bugging me without I even realize. But it is not the deliverable that comes from my project that bugging me, I don’t really care about that thing actually since I enjoy the process in carrying out the project. The thing that really bug me is the sense of completion or accomplishment that I never get. Lacking that sense makes me feel worse and worse, which is not good for my emotional, mental and spiritual health. The second is it is important to finish your project in its natural constrain (time, money, energy, skill)*, why? Because when we have a job, it won’t be the same as in college. It is not about score anymore, it is about failure and succeed**.

Sooner or later I must be able to bring most of my project into completion. Sooner or later I must learn how to focus my mind. That is why I began to cutting some of my project, prioritizing the most important first. It feel kinda weird, I feel so awkward. It is feel so weird when I have a lot of project then cutting them one after another and narrowing them into two or three. And I admit it, it is hard to do, maybe I’m just not getting used to it yet.

Well, in the end, I’m just an Idealist who is trying to be more pragmatic and practical. Since a good plan is not enough, there’s also must be a chance to succeed.***

July 01, 2010

PS : There are two sentence that inspired/quoted from a movie:
** Das Leben der Anderen (2006)
*** Valkyrie (2008)
And one sentence from a book:
* Absolute’s Beginner Guide to Project Management 2nd ed, 2009